Do You Pray Enough Or Are You A BAD Christian?

AI Generated Transcript (I only fixed the mis-spelling of my name and added one extra paragraph break - I left the rest of the mess just the way AI delivered it haha):

Do you pray enough or are you a bad Christian? Welcome to Jon's Voice Notes. Good afternoon. It's a hot, very hot and sunny summer day outside. I got my blinds mostly closed because although there is a beautiful courtyard outside my window, a nice big one,

There is a parking lot on the other end and the sun is glaring off the cars right into my eyes. Is that a bummer or what? But here we go. This is Jon's Voice Notes where I take a topic that I want to talk about today. I don't think it through. I don't have a plan. I go stream of consciousness just to see what happens. So join me. So are you a bad Christian who doesn't pray enough?

I know that for my whole life, I've been hearing the phrase, I don't pray as much as I should. Or I don't read my Bible as much as I should. And at some point in my life, I think I kind of rebelled against this. It's like, I am so sick of this condemnation. I'm so sick of this performance orientation towards...

relational things with God. So I'm going to try and tell you some of what I've learned and processed this through over the years. For me, I have completely jettisoned the best that I can. There's a part of me that keeps trying to go back to that religious yuckiness, but to the best that I can, I have chucked out the door, out the window, whether I've prayed enough or whether I've read my Bible enough or whether I've written in my journal enough.

So I try and approach God on a completely different basis. Now having said that, here is something that I've learned. Time with God is very much like food. So it's like, do you say like, oh man, I haven't been eating enough lately.

You might say, I haven't been eating too much junk lately, or I haven't been eating enough vegetables. You might say something like that, right? But nobody's really saying, oh man, well, there's probably somebody. But in general, most of the people I know are not saying, oh, I'm just not eating enough. I'm a bad person. I just don't eat enough. That's not really what's going on, is it? So I have observed in my own self,

that sometimes when I'm feeling a little dry, when I'm feeling a little bad about myself for no reason, you know, like condemnation-type feelings, when you know it's the devil when there's no reason at all. It's just kind of, you're bad, you know, feel bad, feel yucky. I've come to realize that this means I just need a good dose of time with God.

So I don't believe that time with God earns me anything in any performance sense. God's not up in heaven with a checklist going, all right, that adds on 45 minutes to your eternal destiny plan, a project for your life. It doesn't work like that. But what it is, is you and I are designed to know God.

We're designed to worship him. We're designed to learn about him. We're designed to soak in the presence of the Holy Spirit. So the Holy Spirit is always working within us. If you're a believer, the Holy Spirit is working in you all the time.

Even when you don't see it, even when you don't feel it. But it's like we're designed to have this kind of soaking time. Jesus was always going away. He was a great example for us. He was always going away to spend time with the Father. Is that because he was more religious than the rest of us and better than the rest of us? Well, he was better. But he was hungry and he was thirsty and he understood what he was hungry and thirsty for. He went and spent time with the Father.

Do you ever wonder, this is totally random and unrelated, but when did Jesus become conscious of who he was? It's like, you know, you're having your quiet time one day, reading your Pentateuch, got your scroll and your pen to scratch out your journal on your scroll there, sitting there, and you're like, Lord, Yahweh, what would you like to say to me today? It's like, oh, you are God, the Savior of all mankind. I don't know, being a bit silly there.

When did he know? Totally off topic. But the point is, he was seeking God. We know that when he was 12, he understood. Because when he was in the temple discussing with the leaders there, and his parents were freaked out because they lost him, and they found him there, and he said, didn't you know I would have to be in my father's house?

So when he was 12, he knew. He was spending time. Did the Holy Spirit show him through reading the Old Testament? And this is who you are? How did he know? Was he conscious since he was a baby? I'll keep going back to that. That's not my topic. Not my topic, but it's what I want to talk about right now. And this is my voice notes of what I want to talk about today. So there.

But I don't want anything to do with religious performance. It just makes me feel slimed, even when I hear other people say it. You know, I don't pray as much as I should. It may even be true. But the should, there's a certain kind of should that doesn't help you get there. And it's that religious performance should.

It's that trying to be good enough for God should. Now, I suppose you should spend time with God, in a sense, because that's the only way you're going to get food. I mean, I have found that the Holy Spirit will sustain me in situations where something is circumstantially keeping me away from my time with God.

You know, an emergency or something's going on and I'm just like, I'm having a hard time getting away. Because I love to have just, there's nothing better than having an open-ended time. You know, most days that's not possible to schedule that with my life. Probably not yours either. But I love it when I'm up early in the morning. I have things I need to do, but I don't have an appointment until 11 o'clock or maybe 1 o'clock.

And I could, theoretically, if I wanted to, go the whole time in my just spending time with God. I don't usually take that long, but I love to have it. I love to not have any pressure, so I can just sit there and soak. I can listen to worship music. I can ask God questions. I can write in my journal. I can read all kinds of Bible passages just for refreshment.

I can worship, I can pray however the Lord leads. Once in a while I fall asleep in my chair and have to wake up and realize I lost a half hour of my time or whatever. But I love that. And it feeds my soul.

And in addition to needing time as regularly as possible, I have a hard time doing anything daily other than breathing. I breathe every day and I pump blood unconsciously through my body with my heart every day. There's things I do every day. But as far as discipline, I always like to say the word regularly. I need regular and consistent time with God in order to be fed. And I have found when I'm doing it,

There's a sense of joy and peace bubbling up inside me. But I'm not doing it just out of religious performance. Do you see what I'm saying? If something happens to keep me away, or maybe I've even not been very wise with my time. Too many episodes of Stargate or whatever I'm watching right now. The Chosen. I love The Chosen.

But even if I've been unwise with my time, one of the conversations I often have with the Lord when I feel it, just like you do, that condemnation, but I don't believe that's from the Holy Spirit, that kind of down...

negative you're bad even if it's specific you know you're not praying enough you're not spending enough time in the word i don't believe that's from god now he made him drawing you saying come and eat come set aside some time cancel that appointment or or cancel that task you were going to do or get up a little earlier whatever that could be him

But it's an invitation to a meal. Hey, let's go out for breakfast. It's the father saying to you, hey, let's have breakfast together. And you say, oh, that is awesome. I had this on my schedule, but I am putting that out of my schedule because how exciting. I get to have breakfast with the father. So this is not the first time I've heard this message. I've heard other people share similar things.

But it's what I'm thinking about today. It's how much I hate performance-oriented religious ickiness. That's a new word I just made up. Religious ickiness. I hate it. I don't like it. To the point where I almost can't do it. Oh yeah, and I was saying earlier, when I feel that heaviness or that condemnation, I always just have this little conversation with the Lord where I say, Lord, please forgive me if I am neglecting you. Or if I know I am, I say, please forgive me that I'm neglecting you.

Help me repent. Help me to get this right. But Father, I'm saying this to you and I'm saying this to myself. Abusing myself, beating myself up, and punishing myself have never, ever, ever helped me grow. Those things hinder my growth.

So the issue is, if you're hungry, if your stomach is growling and you feel a little bit faint, you don't go sit in a corner somewhere with a whip and flog yourself because you didn't eat enough. You go get some food. So the Father's calling you. Your Father in Heaven is calling you to just pick. If you ever don't know what to do, read the Proverbs. Start with the Proverb of the Day. Because there's 31 there. Unless it's a month with 30 days...

Well, even if there's a month with 30 days, you have one. But you'll never get to 31 if you only do it in months with 30 days. But the point is, start there. Or multiply the Psalms times five. And, you know, it's the 25th. Multiply that times five and then start and read that Psalm and five Psalms. Anything. Just do anything. And then just think about it. And thank the Lord for what you read. Do something simple.

Just say, hello, Father. I mean, it depends on what helps you concentrate. Sometimes I like to go straight to talking to God. Sometimes, for whatever reason, I'm having a hard time concentrating, and I have found that some good 15 minutes or more of Bible reading, it's like it sucks my brain into being focused on the good things, especially if it's Psalms and Proverbs or certain things. It draws me in so that I'm focused on the Lord.

But I have about six exercises I do, and a few of them I vary depending on the day, in my seeking of the Lord every day. Also kind of a seeking of personal development in the Lord. I don't beat myself up if I don't get to all of them. I just want to come to Him for food regularly. And I keep coming back. Keep every single time you're aware...

I feel like a hungry or maybe if you feel condemned, unless it's a specific, you know, you never should have talked to your wife like that. Or, you know, you shouldn't have been looking at those dirty magazines or you shouldn't have stolen that money from the register. Unless it's some specific thing that you need to repent of and make right. If it's just this vague heaviness, you might need to resist the devil. And you also might just need to go soak.

If you're a believer, sometimes you need time for Jesus to wash your feet. Remember when he was washing the disciples' feet and Peter was like, No, you're not the servant here. I'm the servant here. I should be washing your feet. And Jesus is like, your feet are dirty or whatever he said. You have no part in me if I don't wash your feet. And Peter's like, wash all of me. He's like, you're already clean. If you're a believer, you're already clean.

But it's like you need to get your feet washed by Jesus every now and then. You need him to minister to you. And it takes time. Sometimes it just takes some time.

Sometimes you might not have time, but sometimes it's worth making time because just that time sitting in his presence, even if it doesn't seem to go very well or you don't seem to be able to focus, if you keep doing it, eventually you'll just have a breakthrough. You'll have a sense of peace will come.

You can't live for that because, like I said, sometimes you have to have faith even when you don't feel that peace. Sometimes you have to have faith even when you feel hungry for the Lord and you're having trouble getting the time for legitimate reasons beyond your control. That happens. And He will feed you while you're walking, while you're doing. You can have snacks with the Lord all day. Read Practicing the Presence of God.

It says it's by Brother Lawrence, but it seems to me like it's more like written by someone who is sending him letters and getting letters back. But Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence.

And just learn how you can also snack all day. But you still do need some times where you just sit down and have a meal and soak in the presence of the Father. You need that. But you know what? Get rid of the condemnation. Get rid of the, I should pray more. Maybe even try and get that language out of you. Just rather than say that, say, I'm hungry for God.

And I'm going to go find, I need some time. I need some time because I'm hungry for the time with my father because I love him. Say that instead and see what happens. See what happens if you start confessing that instead of condemning yourself.

So hopefully this is useful and encouraging and all one of you out there who are listening to this, hopefully it will bless you, make you a stronger and better person. That's my hope. But whatever the case, it's what I wanted to say today and there it is. Thank you for listening. 

This is Jon's Voice Notes and Jon signing off.